I have demons in me.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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