I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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