scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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