I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
i think i have two assholes
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
