The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
