3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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