you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Randomize
