Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
