I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
