I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize