They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Randomize
