considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
