first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
