yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
