Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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