Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
