Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Randomize
