last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
