Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
