i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
