Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize
