From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Randomize
