At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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