would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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