I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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