strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
