is this the sara with the beer cane?
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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