Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
