oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
