i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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