It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
