i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
