It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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