who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
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