I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Drunk walkin through police station. America
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
