So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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