Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
