I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Ladies don't puke and tell
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