I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
