yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Randomize
