So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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