So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
