I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Me. At least after what I've been through.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
