I just saw a hot homeless man
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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