matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
