just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
