I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize
