The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
did i just pee glitter
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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