found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
