She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Randomize
