my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
