It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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