I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I just blew my weed a kiss
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
