if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
