like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
