I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize