And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I am naked and annoyed.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Randomize
