What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
