Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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