When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
