Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
When are your genitals available?
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
