Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
She bit a glass in half.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
