YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Randomize
