We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
