i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
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