I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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