I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Randomize
