Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Randomize