what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
