Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
