real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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