I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
