I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize