I wish I could punch you in the face.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
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