That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Randomize
